1. Philadelphia Eagles
No trade deadline moves because they don’t need to. There are no holes on this team, other than maybe some D-line depth with Jordan Davis going on IR. But they also got Robert Quinn. Hurts is like a metaphor for impostor syndrome, except he fully believes in himself and everyone else seems so certain he’s a fraud who will be exposed. Let’s see how he prepares for Houston… if he doesn’t fall for the ultimate trap game of being the best team playing the worst, I think it’s time for people to give him some more respect.
2. Buffalo Bills
You can crown Josh Allen all you want, but he’s not undefeated this year. Love the Nyheim Hines pickup.
3. Kansas City Chiefs
Think they’re happy they got to face SF before McCaffrey had time to learn the offense? Kadarius Toney is a huge and underrated addition. If his hamstrings are healthy, he could blow up late season.
4. Dallas Cowboys
QB controversy is officially put to bed, and Dak learned how to not be boring. And finally, FINALLY everyone now realizes Pollard is the better back. That doesn’t mean give him 30 carries and leave Zeke on the bench. It does mean Pollard should get the majority of touches because unlike Zeke, Pollard can break it on any play.
5. Minnesota Vikings
Getting Hockenson from a division rival is a big and surprising move. If he can find some consistency, it could help the team keep finding openings for Jefferson. I don’t care who else you add… Jefferson needs 10 targets minimum per game.
6. Baltimore Ravens
Finally putting it together. Defense still has issues but adding Roquan Smith was a bold and necessary move. Lamar doesn’t quite look like his MVP self, but he’s healthy and that’s the important part. Can’t say the same for Mark Andrews, and they need him and Bateman to get good. Duvernay has been admirable in the meantime, but Lamar needs all his targets.
7. Miami Dolphins
Mike McDaniel now has his SF backfield with him in Miami, so this should be fun. Still too much inconsistency, but that should get better as Tua settles back in and continues learning where to find his billion targets.
8. Tennessee Titans
I don’t really buy them at this spot yet. Weak wins against Indy and Houston isn’t exactly stirring excitement. Now they get a real test going on the road to KC.
9. Cincinnati Bengals
What. Was. That. Just as it looked like their offensive line was figuring it out, they put up this clunker with Burrow running for his life all night. Yeah, Chase was out and that’s big, but not big enough to overcome that deficit. They got beat down. I’m calling that one a blip for now cause I know they’re better than this.
10. Seattle Seahawks
Seahawks are in the top 10! I’m a fan. Sounds like they might get Rashaad Penny back this week, too. Hopefully they keep feeding Walker, though, and Penny can be the change of pace. Otherwise we’ll have Zeke/Pollard all over again, and I can’t go through another one.
11. San Francisco 49ers
So it turns out CMC is actually really good on a team with an offensive clue. Ugh, the careers Matt Rhule ruined.
12. New York Jets
They miss Breece Hall. Buffalo at home this week is a chance to take a huge step, and they need better from Zach Wilson.
13. New York Giants
EXPOSED! Well, maybe not exposed cause they lost to a team now in my top 10. But they got handled. They got a bye this week to get right before a couple winnable games against Houston and Detroit… then they go to Dallas and if they’re still in the running, that game will be huge.
14. Los Angeles Chargers
They better have spent their bye week healing and telling Herbert to get ready to start flinging it downfield. Love Ekeler getting 12 catches in my PPR league, but those better start coming on wheel routes if they wanna start winning.
15. Atlanta Falcons
As usual, 15-18 is sort of that meh, I don’t know group. So much talent here and young guys developing, and Pitts is finally getting involved. But still too many holes to fill to really make a run. Luckily, they play in the atrocious NFC South where .500 means 1st place. And I don’t see anyone else in that division taking off unless Tom goes on a middle finger tour.
16. Arizona Cardinals
Kyler has to love having Hopkins back, but their early season struggles now has them behind the inexplicable Seahawks, the surging Niners, and the defending champs.
17. Los Angeles Rams
I mean, the defending champs label is technically true and a good way to make them seem more important when I’m talking about other teams, but what a mess. To get beat down like that coming off your bye week is embarrassing. Now they get to play the Bucs in the Something’s Gotta Give Bowl.
18. New England Patriots
Big win against the Jets, but it’s hard to know who you’ll get any week. Only thing you know is Belichick will deliver a gem in his presser. That’s a guarantee, sometimes several times a week.
19. Green Bay Packers
Packers desperately needed a wide receiver if they were going to make a run, and they didn’t get one. I think it’s becoming clear this will be Rodgers last season. No one knows if Bakhtiari or Jenkins will play week to week, leaving a confused offensive line blocking for a previously mobile QB who doesn’t seem like he wants to break the pocket and create anymore. I just wish Rodgers would shut up. And no, not like a “just shut up and play football.” More like a “shut up you sound like an incredible douche.” The amount of eyerolls when he talks in the locker rooms probably explains some of the pass drops.
20. Las Vegas Raiders
Come on, guys, it’s getting harder to call these games a blip. Starting to wonder if Josh McDaniels lasts the season.
21. Indianapolis Colts
I like them so much better with Ehlinger. There will be struggles, but he allows them to play a very different offense that I think plays better to their strengths.
22. New Orleans Saints
No idea who you’ll get any week. One day they’re getting mopped up by Arizona, next they’re shutting out the Raiders. Can’t really move them around much until they show who they are a few weeks in a row.
23. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Alright, the divorce is over. Can we move on now? Someone get Tom a big plate of meat and potatoes, and do not skimp on the buttered rolls. That dude needs some joy and carbs in his life. I get depressed just watching his press conferences.
24. Cleveland Browns
What did I say?! Chubb and Hunt need to combine for 30 carries if they wanna win. Last week, the two had 34 carries, plus 5 catches. And they dominated. They could make this season into something if they keep to that gameplan and hang on until Watson is available.
25. Washington Commanders
Again, didn’t even try to this week. But a weak win against the Colts 2nd year backup QB isn’t enough for a jump. That said, Heinicke is 2-0 and it’s time they acknowledge he’s their best chance of winning. He has the fans and he has the locker room and they never should’ve bothered with Wentz.
26. Jacksonville Jaguars
Much like with the Jets, the pieces are there, now it’s time for your 2nd year franchise QB to put it together.
27. Chicago Bears
One 2nd year franchise QB who seems to be putting it together better than some of the others is probably the most unexpected coming into the season. But Justin Fields looks like the real deal, so much so that their normally dysfunctional front office went and got him a #1 receiver in Claypool to pair with Mooney. Herbert gives them another dimension in the backfield. They traded away most of their defense, which is weird considering the Claypool trade. Even in a loss, they were competitive with Dallas for much of the game and put points up on one of the best defenses in the league.
28. Carolina Panthers
Can’t help but feel bad for a team that came a weird penalty away from a win. But that rule has been around a long time, and as stupid as it is, players should know. Serious question, though… is PJ Walker for real? Looks real. That almost game-winning throw to Moore was a dime.
29. Denver Broncos
They got the win, but Russ still looks lost. Trading away Bradley Chubb tells me this team knows where they stand.
30. Pittsburgh Steelers
Hard to put them higher when they keep trotting Kenny Pickett out there for no reason. Pulling him now would be awkward, though.
31. Detroit Lions
They always come out firing, but Miami just outlasted them last week. And with Miami’s offense, that’s bound to happen a lot this year. Jamaal Williams come back.
32. Houston Texans
I can see actual scenarios where they lose and move up. Stay within a touchdown and legitimately make life hard for Philly, and I’ll say they’re maybe up a spot or two.
